The Quest

Dear Mr. Woods,

Being that we have not formally been introduced,
I feel that it would be presumptuous for me to call you Tiger.
Sorry 'bout your last tournament.
You'll get 'em next time, I feel sure.
I know nothing about golf except that you play it,
and gentlemen's golf balls hit my house and land in my yard.
Now, some balls are marked with evidence that they are owned by ladies,
but Ladies NEVER venture into my domain.

First things first.
Let me introduce myself.
I am the muse who lives on the 11th fairway of Treyburn Golf Course in Durham, NC.
In a spirit of diversity, I am working to better understand the beings
who inch through my yard and lot as if searching for four leaf clovers.
They fearlessly tread perilously close to the biting ant hill and tangle their vulnerable legs in the blackberry bramble, and brave the bees. I have noted their remarkable fidelity to one another as they assist a comrade in the search and rescue of an elusive white pocked sphere.

It is my hope that your expertise will be a resource for me and help me to gain insight as I seek a symbiotic relationship with the the subspecies known as
golfers.

Thank you in advance for your kind assistance in my quest.
The Muse